My Top 5: Strangest Gadgets

There has to be something said about people and their “innovative ideas”.  It seems that we all, at some point in our lifetime, have had some huge “epiphany”, think of the perfect million-dollar product, just to be shot down and realize that the idea has already been taken, and there are already millions of our money-maker floating around the earth.  Some people tend to be more lucky and strike it huge with some obscure and insane product or gadget that will truly bring them money, and all they did was kick a stick in the dirt and “Bam! They’re rich”! Take the pet rock for instance.  I am sure I am not the first and only one to have this complaint, who thought of that one?!  And who knew that a little table shaped piece of plastic placed in a pizza box would allow some chap to retire, just because he thought of the idea of keeping our pizza from getting “smooshed”?  And who knew that the self-adhesive envelope would hit it big?  I actually knew someone that claimed their uncle had invented the sticky envelop.  Truth or tale, I don’t know, but the fact that someone thought about saving another person the tongue juice to seal an envelope, and cashing in on profits, is just not fair.

Well, in my strange curiosity, I decided to delve the Web to see what I could find that is making people money.  It’s not the items that are logical that I’m so interested in.  If someone was lucky enough to come up with an ingenious idea, and their product has hit it big, congrats to them for the hard work.  I’m more interested in the items people have made, that shouldn’t have, because well…their ideas were just strange.  So with all that being said, these are the items that I have found to be the strangest. most obscure, or just outright stupid.

1.  The DVD Rewinder:

Ah, sweet technology!  Remember the days of “yore”, before VHS rewinders were readily available and you had to wait for your VCR to rewind your long video before you could put in another movie?  Then for those that were just too danged anxious to wait, they graced us with the VHS rewinder!  Hallelujah!  Now, that truly was a God-send.  I will attest to that myself.  And then we had a huge step in advancement, and we were blessed with DVDs.  Though, even though this great technological advancement granted us better quality, higher definition TV, and awesome sound quality, we STILL had to be troubled with the nagging time it took to rewind them?!  Well, never fear!  The DVD Rewinder is here!  No longer will we ever have to wait for our DVD to be rewound, as we anxiously await the pleasurable viewing of our next movie!  Just take your previously viewed DVD out of the player, throw it into this nifty little machine and let the machine work for you, as you move onto your next viewing.  Try not to let the rewinding sound it actually makes get to you though.  In fact, it might be so loud that it might disrupt your next movie, causing some unhappy consumers.  If that’s the case, you might have to just wait for it to rewind anyhow.  I’m sure the innovator is sorry he didn’t convenience you afterall.

2.  The Cigarette Smell Maker

Being a wretched smoker myself, I can thoroughly appreciate the coupled bliss of a fine stiff drink and a cigarette.  For some reason, the tongue loves the feeling of smooth grey smoke from a cigarette stick rolling over it after the fine swig of your favorite finely fermented beverage.  However, with all the hype lately of second-hand smoke in public areas, I’m sure that the smoke smell had more than just a little bit to do with the outrage.  Of course, there are the obvious concerns that the anti-public-smoking-people have with public smoking, first and foremost the risk of cancer, but I’m sure they also have a major problem with the stench.  And, rightfully so.  Now, I’m not completely sure that this company meant to slap the these people in the face with a “you’re still stuck with it” attitude, but they really have gone out of their way to make sure that us smokers still get a taste, or smell, rather, of what we need.  A good nasty cigarette smell while we drink.  This company appreciates all that we smokers need, and has provided bar and restaurant owners with a machine that will replicate the smell of a cigarette, without the cancer and nicotine!  I guess that would be it’s only downfall for me, no nicotine, as my lungs and brain receptors won’t benefit from it, but at least I can still leave the bar smelling like I was at one!  They claim that it also enables the masking of other wretched smells emanating from bars, such as body sweat and stale beer.  See?  Maybe it’s a brilliant device after all!

3.  Chocolate Covered Bacon

Hmmm…M&Ms for breakfast?  Or bacon?  M&Ms…or bacon?  I know, I’ll have both!  Now, being a woman, and enduring two pregnancies, and having been on medications that cause strange cravings, and having been a previous “appreciator” of the wacky weed, I have had my share of odd cravings.  But macaroni and cheese with ranch dressing is as far as my imagination had ever stretched.  Apparently some person or company out there was having some weird craving of chocolate covered bacon.  Or maybe their plate wasn’t big enough to fit both the brown velvety goodness and the fried pig all together, so they had to come up with a way to combine it, to have their cake chocolate and eat it too.  Either way, I don’t think I would ever consider it a good idea, or even halfway sane.  But I am just one person.  I am not one to necessarily knock others’ tastes and oddities, but please don’t expect me to watch you eat that without wanting to wretch.

4.  Solar-Powered Bra

Fashion meets science.  For some, this would be considered a more than blissful union.  Now iPod users and those that spend countless minutes on their cell phones draining their ever-so-precious battery power have a rescue…  The solar-powered bra!  Just plug your device into your bra, go out and catch some rays, and just like magic, you have battery power again!  Apparently it only comes in green, so make sure you have enough of a wardrobe to match.  Heaven forbid you can’t wear it on a day you really need it because your attire wouldn’t allow it.  And really try not to get bothered by all those stares you get for wearing this very pretty lingerie out in public.  It’s sexy, being a bra and all, and all that technical crap loaded on the front of it is hot and alluring!  I think I am gonna rush out and get one - I’ve been looking for a solution to an extended battery life on my cell phone!

5.  Bottle Opener Hat

Ever been out and about and couldn’t find your beer bottle opener?  Never should you worry again, just use your hat!  Like the makers of the Solar-Powered Bra, this company decided to finely mesh fashion with convenience.  Along with being fashionable, you now have the option to never have to worry about not being able to feed your public-alcoholic addiction again!  At the mall and want a beer?  Use your hat!  Walking down the street and want a swig of your favorite malt liquor?  Use your hat!  At church and want to sneak a little sip of your favorite alcoholic beverage?  Use your hat!  Wait.  You can’t use it at church.  Generally hats and alcohol aren’t permitted there.  But, hey, it’s ok, you can use it anywhere and everywhere else!  I am going to have to go looking for one.  Maybe they will have one in green to match my new bra.